Faithful Friends: Rency and Mae

I met Mae and Rency almost two years ago when I decided to follow God’s leading in my life to stay in Batac for a while. It’s amazing how God has been opening my eyes to the bigger picture of why I had to help out in teaching high school during that time (which I will write about the next time). Another reason is for me to meet these two amazing women, establish friendship with them, and walk the Christian walk with them.

Yesterday was definitely disenthralling for me and so I want to write it down for me to be able to remember it for the rest of my life. For a while now, I told them to stop calling me ate. Ate, in our culture and norm, is a sign of respect to a woman older by some years. However, it can also be a stumbling block in a growing friendship as it establishes a position of authority and seniority. I didn’t want that to get in the way and I was ready and willing for these women, younger than me, to openly rebuke and correct me without inhibitions.

I saw them struggle with removing the ate in our daily conversations. They would correct themselves in the middle of their sentences, say sorry because of it, then continue or start over their story. It was a funny yet beautiful transition, which to me, came to full bloom yesterday.

It’s never easy to open your secret chest to anybody, not even to your close friends. It was particularly hard for me to open mine for these two to see because I was afraid that it would cause them to stop looking up to me and think differently of me already. But yesterday, the ball was already in my court. It was my turn to put the lack of “seniority” in our relationship from theory to practice.

The result was, as I said, liberating. My secrets, pretenses, and weakness were laid on the table; I was left vulnerable, but Mae and Rency sat down there and (really) listened to me.  No judgment was uttered. There was just grace, compassion, and love.

And so I also write this to honor them. Rency and Mae proved me that respect goes beyond how you call each other. I am humbled to learn Lordship and heavenly living from these people who are younger than me. Their lives speak nothing but who Jesus is. How they live out their freedom and obedience to God in every area – finances, relationship, calling, name it – blesses my heart, and I know it blesses God’s heart more. The two of them are definitely my adings in age, but their spiritual maturity goes beyond my years Tell me, who should call ate who now?

I am forever grateful because they are my friends. Actually, scratch that. I am eternally grateful because they are my faithful friends. Faithful friends will always have a special place in my heart. It is the kind of friendship that grows despite the distance because it is founded in nothing less than our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

SEALNet Reflection: Letter to yourself 5 years from now

Dear Atty. Agrupis,

Girl, you’re getting old. I hope by now you’ve climbed Mt. Pulag and have done a marathon already. But more than that, I hope you are staying true to our agreement of becoming a lawyer to help the needy. I hope you still visit our relatives in Cagayan; I hope you are still taking part in giving hope to the poor. Many things must have happened in the last five years, huh? If anything, I hope it made you stringer, braver, and fiercer in life. I hope you are still growing in love every day, I hope you always reflect on why you are doing what you are doing.

I cannot really give much advice to you. What do I know, I am just the incoming second year law student part of you. I cannot give you any advice because by now you’ve achieved more than I did. But listen, because even thou I am far from where you are now, I am still the one who made you. As I go thru everyday of my life, I am molding you and forming you. So if along the way you lose sight of your track, talk to me. Because right here, right now, I am sure and I know who you want to be and who you’re supposed to be.

Remember the summit you went to in Ha Noi when you were twenty-two? Remember how that summit thought you about service and leadership? Yeah, so go back to it. Go back to the basic. You are more than just a public servant, you are a servant leader. Stop being so caught up with processes and procedures and politics, but focus on the people – because they are the ones that matter most.

Remmeber how much you appreciated human connection and a sense of belongingness when you talked to random strangers in the Old Quarter. When was the last time you addressed their needs without any other motive than to help and be of service?

You are in a position of influence right now with so much potential and opportunity to make an impact to other people. Let me remind you where you get your joy when you were twenty-two: by touching people’s lives. When was the last time you felt that joy, Arla? Your title and position amount to nothing to me if you lost this part of us that made waking up the next morning meaningful.

You’re good at failing and making mistakes, and trust me, that’s one thing consistent about you. But what makes me really proud is that we manage to pick ourselves up every damn time. You’re humility to accept your mistakes and to do something about it is something that strengthens you throughout the years. So if you don’t feel the joy right now, or feeling lost, wear your good old t-shirt, flared jeans and slippers, and reconnect with me. Better yet, go to Givral Café behind RMIT in Ha Noi. Have a cup of coffee at the second floor, and start all over again. I’m right here, waiting for you.